DESPERATION IN MARRIAGE: THE BANE OF PURPOSEFUL MARRIAGE

Sad to say, but recent happenings show that we are in an age where the divine purpose of marriage is being undermined by an increasing number of single folks, especially the ladies, and the factor responsible for this shame is nothing but sheer DESPERATION!!!

It’s so bad that even with many clergymen taking the pain to enlighten singles on the purpose of marriage, their wise words tend to fall on deaf ears. A vast number of Pentecostal ministries have done well to adequately divide the word of truth on the subject of marriage. But how helpful has that information been to those it is meant for???

While there’s no denying that a huge degree of successful Pentecostal marriages is consequent upon series of marriage education, the sad reality remains that those in the “desperation zone” outrightly play down on these lessons and go “all the way out” to secure marriage, not minding if the divine purpose is trashed ultimately.


The quest to get the “Mr./Mrs.” tag ironically outweighs the drive to fulfill a divine purpose. Many single people, ladies especially, are more concerned about having an elaborate wedding than a sustainable blissful marriage. All their interest is in “getting married,” not “staying married.”

How do you explain that a girl in her mid-twenties is already so desperate to marry, so much that she doesn’t mind settling with a man who has little or no inclination towards her area of calling; even when she has learnt that two people who aren’t headed in the same direction cannot yoke together in marriage successfully???

Worse off, how do you explain that this same girl is more than willing to settle with a man whose area of calling she has little or no inclination towards??? The most loathsome part is that even when the man is very much unwilling to settle with this girl who is differently wired in terms of divine purpose, she refuses to let go. As a matter of fact, she imposes herself on him and tries to trick him into marrying her. What manner of DESPERATION; or should I say WICKEDNESS!!!

Judging from this, it’s very obvious that some singles are more interested in marriage than in the person they go all out to marry. They just want it to be in the records that they are married. Whatever happens in the marriage is of little concern to them.

This is where divine purpose is truncated because neither party is likely to fully abandon their individual calling and run with the other’s calling. Even if it appears so initially, it is likely to discontinue eventually except one party forgoes his/her calling and runs with the other’s calling, in which case divine purpose is still truncated. If two people must get together in marriage, their individual calling should be able to synchronize, thus allowing for a smooth marital journey.

This does not necessarily rule out INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES and SACRIFICE in marriage, in which case all that’s required is understanding and maturity. But as it has to do with divine purpose, no amount of understanding and maturity can make two “unlike terms” to become “like terms.”

The best understanding and maturity will do in this case is that it’ll make two absolutely different and incompatible fellows live together peacefully while pursuing different courses in life. From the little I’ve gathered about marriage, that’s not how it should be. Correct me if I’m wrong.

In the Bible, this question is asked; “which of you, desiring to build a tower, doesn't first sit down and count the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it???” It’s not just enough to want to marry. The thing is; are you ready for marriage, knowing full well what it entails??? Do you even know what marriage entails???

Have you actually sat down to count the cost of marriage before being so desirous of getting into it??? Or are you just looking for someone to push you from the single zone to the married zone??? Time will not permit me to write about the outrageously shameful and disgusting pretentious mannerisms put up by some singles all in a bid to win the affection of someone who is supposed to love them for who they are.

After deceiving someone into walking down the aisle with you and your true nature becomes apparent after the wedding, what then??? Or are you planning to pretend forever??? Definitely not!!! So what happens when you’re found out??? Many singles don’t care what happens then, so long as the wedding had already happened. At that point, contentions arise, and the two can hardly continue to work together as one, thus truncating the divine purpose of marriage.

Let me make it clear at this point that not all singles are actually ready to apply divine counsel in the quest to FIND or BE FOUND by a partner. Many singles will readily deceive a gullible person into tying the nuts with them. These are the people who prefer the “Mr./Mrs.” tag to the fulfillment of divine purpose. You do not want to fall victim to such deceit!!!

To avoid having divine purpose trashed by falling victim to such desperation-driven marriage, it is important to keep these bible passages in mind. For the men, it’s Proverbs 19:14; and for the ladies, it’s James 1:17.

Proverbs 19:14 says; “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but A PRUDENT WIFE is from THE LORD. (NIV).”

James 1:17 says; “EVERY GOOD AND PERFECT GIFT IS FROM ABOVE, coming down FROM THE FATHER of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (NIV)”

Notice that the common factor in those two scriptures is the GOD FACTOR, without which marital doom is a highly possible future. This is as much as I can say in this regard. But I definitely can’t say the same about you. Why not do well to share your thoughts in the comment box. Constructive criticisms are also welcome.